What you seek is also seeking you. - Rumi
What is spiritual direction or spiritual companionship?
“Spiritual direction is, in reality, nothing more than a way of leading us to see and obey the real Director — the Holy Spirit hidden in the depths of our soul.” -Thomas Merton, Trappist monk
Spiritual direction (also known as spiritual companionship) is a sacred conversation with a trained listener about God’s presence in your life. Through this ministry, you are invited to notice and attend to the deeper movements of the Spirit. Spiritual direction provides intentional, confidential, non-judgmental space to reflect upon your life journey and to open to God’s transforming love and grace. Spiritual direction is steeped in contemplative practice, deep listening, and prayer, so it allows space to become aware of what is deep within you. And when we are aware of what is deep within ourselves, we are less driven by other people’s expectations and our own personality.
When asked by a friend how she prayed for her, a thirteenth-century mystic and teacher, Julian of Norwich, responded: "I look at God, I look at you, and I keep on looking at God." Put simply, the challenge in spiritual direction is to keep on looking at God.
Spiritual Direction is often called the practice of Holy Listening. It is an ancient ministry of the church, originating with the early desert mothers and fathers of the 3rd and 4th centuries. These wise ones lived lives of solitude and received many visitors who sought insight.
Spiritual Direction is a relationship in which one person assists another, in awakening to and noticing the presence, voice and movement of God in their life and spirit, and to encourage the discovery of a growing relationship with Spirit in love and purpose.
Individual sessions usually occur once a month focusing on the directee’s experience of the Spirit in all aspects of their life–even in areas that might not, on initial reflection, have much to do with God at all.
Spiritual direction can also be a group process. In group spiritual direction, a group gathers regularly and each member of the group functions, in part, as spiritual director for one another under the facilitation of a trained spiritual director.
Why should I consider meeting with a spiritual director?
"The goal of spiritual direction is spiritual formation — the ever-increasing capacity to live a spiritual life from the heart. A spiritual life cannot be formed without discipline, practice, and accountability. There are many spiritual disciplines. Almost anything that regularly asks us to slow down and order our time, desires, and thoughts to counteract selfishness, impulsiveness, or hurried fogginess of mind can be a spiritual discipline." - Henri Nouwen
Do you long for a deeper connection to God? Many people find spiritual direction helpful in exploring a deeper relationship with God. A spiritual director will listen for and help you pay attention to things you might not otherwise notice in your relationship with God in daily life.
Do you need help discerning what’s next? Ultimately, spiritual directors exist to help you with discernment. Discernment is the process of opening our lives and decisions to God and being attentive to more clearly see God’s path for our lives. When feeling stuck or when wanting to respond to God’s calling in some way, it can be helpful to engage in discernment practices with a trained director.
Do you want to develop or deepen practices of prayer or meditation?
Spiritual directors are experienced with a number of spiritual practices and can help you find life-giving practices to integrate into your life in order to hear God more clearly.
How does spiritual direction differ from counseling or Stephen Ministry?
Generally speaking, the focus of therapy or counseling is to help clients work on thoughts, emotions, or behaviors that negatively affect one’s life or relationships. In Stephen Ministry, a lay person comes alongside an individual who is undergoing a crisis or life difficulty to provide caring Christian presence to provide emotional and spiritual Christian care. Stephen Ministers generally meet with their Care Receivers weekly until the need is no longer there.
Unlike counseling or Stephen Ministry, spiritual direction can be a longer-term process and does not exist to correct a problem or work through a crisis so much as to help people experience the presence of God more deeply. Often, spiritual direction can feel like psychotherapy, but the focus of direction is always on the directee’s spiritual journey.
There can be some overlaps, however. Some people find it helpful to see a therapist to discern the big questions in their life. However, the approaches of a therapist and a spiritual director will vary greatly in helping someone explore “what is my purpose?”
What is it like to meet with a Spiritual Director?
The word director can be misleading as the Holy Spirit is the real director; the spiritual director is more of an observer, companion, or discerner to the real Director, God.
Good spiritual directors are good listeners. They ask questions that open up space for someone to notice the ways that they see God present or not present in their life. They welcome moments of silence because they realize that silence is full of God’s presence. The Christian mystic St. John of the Cross, who wrote in the sixteenth century, said that “silence is God's first language”. In 1948 Thomas Merton wrote “God [is] hidden within me.”
What is it like to meet in group Spiritual Direction?
Group Spiritual Direction provides the container for work with the soul, our Essence. This is a group in which 4-5 people plus a facilitator gather, usually monthly, to assist one another in an ongoing awareness of the Divine in all of life. Those in the group seek support for their responsiveness to Spirit and they agree to support others in that same responsiveness. Three conditions are essential to the life of the group.
Each member of the group agrees to:
● commit themselves to an honest relationship with God, their Creator
● participate wholeheartedly in the group process through prayerful listening and response
● open their spiritual journey for consideration by others
The depth of sharing necessary in group spiritual direction demands a level of trust not often found in other types of groups. This group is not dependent upon similar personalities, mutual interests or common experiences; rather it is grounded in a trust of God's desire for each participant individually as well as the group as a whole.
What draws people to the group is a reciprocity of desire, God's desire and their desire. Having been touched by this desire, they want to make their desire for relationship with God the determining factor for their choices, and they recognize that they need some help to do this. This shared desire gives the group its coherence as well as a shared commitment to be there for one another in that desire.
One member a spiritual direction group has this to say:
“It is a beautiful relief to have others to discuss with and pray about the mystery of discerning God's communication and guidance. The connection between us is both powerful and tender. It is a place to be honest and brave while residing in a place of support, safety, communion and joy.” -JI
How do I find a spiritual director?
While many people use word of mouth to find someone, here are two resources to help your search. For those in Central Texas, the Austin Area Spiritual Directors Community is a network of local spiritual directors and provides a list of those accepting new directees. In addition, Spiritual Directors International (SDI) provides a list of spiritual companions from around the world.
Every spiritual director is different. The combination of training, personality, and experience varies. When looking for a spiritual director, I believe it is important to find someone whose personality and approach is a good “fit” for where you are on your journey.
Why might I want to meet with you in particular?
"The space that Nancy holds for our spiritual direction group is safe, supportive, wise, and reflective. Her knowing and open-hearted smile makes me feel so safe to trust the process of spiritual growth in community. And her observations are so spot-on! She has shown me a new way of being with God, both within and without." - JG
My heart and passion have been focused on understanding the spiritual journey, spiritual formation, inner healing and growth for myself and others for many years. My interest in spiritual direction grew out of my experience with my own spiritual director, studying the enneagram, my work as a Stephen Minister and my personal use of other spiritual practices to deepen my relationship with God. I believe spiritual direction is an important ongoing practice that helps with deep listening to God, through the sacred text of my own life.
My faith was formed in the Episcopal and Presbyterian (PCUSA) Churches and through spending time in nature. I am particularly interested in the use of nature to connect with the Divine and the method of group spiritual direction. I am not a licensed counselor or physician, so if you have mental health issues please contact a licensed professional. I will gladly work alongside your therapist or medical professional.
I graduated from Stillpoint Center for Christian Spirituality with additional training in eco-spiritual direction, group spiritual direction and certification as a Spiritual Direction Supervisor. I also completed training in Spiritual Direction for Children with Lacy Finn Borgo. I am a member of Spiritual Directors International, the international organizing body for spiritual directors, which provides me with ongoing education and resources to support my work. I am also a Stephen Minister.
I meet regularly with my own spiritual director and also with a peer supervision group to continue my growth and my health in the ministry of spiritual direction. I am a member of the
Austin Area Spiritual Directors Community for continuing education and networking.
Do you only meet with Christians?
No. While my approach is rooted in the Christian tradition, I believe all people of any faith tradition (or no faith tradition) can benefit from spiritual direction as long as they are open to seriously asking and listening for the ways in which Spirit is present in their lives.
How often and where do we meet for sessions?
Similar to visiting a primary care physician for an annual physical, it is the consistent attendance to our spiritual life that keeps it healthy. Many seeking a deeper spiritual life and connection to our Creator engage in Spiritual Direction on a regular basis their entire lives and most receive direction monthly although the frequency is determined by each individual.
Sessions are currently held either at Five Oak Ranch Retreat inside the Ranch House or outside (weather permitting) or via Zoom.
How much does it cost?
I charge $75 per one hour session or $35 per hour for full-time students in any kind of degree program. Group spiritual direction sessions are $35 per session per person. If you cannot afford my rate, I am happy to make arrangements. Payment by Venmo, check or cash is due within 3 days of the date of the session.
Other Thoughts on Spiritual Direction
"The phrase 'spiritual direction' is a misnomer in a way, because it is not so much about being directed as it is about being open, receptive, aware of and responsive to the movement of the Spirit in the directee's life. It is understood that the Holy Spirit is the true Director, Advocate, or Counselor given to lead us into truth as we are able to bear it (John 15, 16). The director is present to assist the directee in paying attention to the invitations of the Holy Spirit and to support the directee in making a faithful response." - Ruth Haley Barton
Here is a great video from Stillpoint: Center for Christian Spirituality about spiritual Direction.
